Written by: Johanne Mendoza
Editor’s Note: The following articles are written by counseling professionals from Counseling Services and psychology students in partnership with the Southern Accent.
In the grand scheme of social media, the comparison game is challenging to avoid. Young people are bombarded with the allure of instant gratification, expensive vacations and perfect physical bodies presented in Instagram stories, TikTok shorts and Netflix dating shows. Extravagant or adventurous lifestyles are often displayed on social media feeds. Social media users usually post specific parts of their lives that they want to be perceived experiencing. Social media feeds usually lack vulnerability or transparency, opting for a filtered lifestyle.
I, too, fall into this trap, choosing only the best angles or most aesthetically pleasing pictures to post on my page. The common expression, “The grass is always greener on the other side,” reflects the belief that everyone else’s situation is better than yours. It has created a society where people often grow jealous of other’s accomplishments and are not satisfied with the cards they are dealt. It makes you look at everyone else’s life as a blueprint, and you can’t help but feel sorry for yourself for not amounting to everyone else’s expectations.
Although social media can be fun for expressing yourself and inspiring others, there is a thin line between inspiration and comparison. In this digital age, it’s easy to be weighed down by what everyone else is doing. In a life bombarded with constant capitalization — the promise that purchasing the newest items will bring happiness — we could benefit from looking inward for self-gratification. Most of the time, in-person hangouts are only documented digitally, without making actual connections through meaningful conversations. Although we are all connected digitally and socially, the connections stay at the surface level. Taking pictures and capturing videos is okay, but we must tread carefully to create space for meaningful interactions.
I must remind myself that only some posts I see online are recipes for success; most pictures are edited, and people usually post only a curated carousel of what they want you to see. Trust me, this is something that I struggle with daily — something I need to take to heart. Especially with this being my senior year, I can’t help but feel like I fell behind compared to my peers. I see online that they go on luxurious trips, have a grad school lined up, or splurge on big purchases. This causes me to doom scroll, mostly ending with feelings of dissatisfaction and emptiness. I notice that being in constant comparison with others takes away from my achievements and makes me lose my self-confidence.
After reflecting on a Fresh Insight article titled “The Grass Is Always Greener: How Social Media Fuels Our Dissatisfaction,” I started reflecting on my strengths. Seeing the beauty in my life allowed me to see my actual value.
Our value is so much more than a curated social media page, a title to our name or the material things we have. Being more self-aware while scrolling through other people’s Instagram stories will help you gently shift your focus from comparison to appreciation. This outlook has helped me see that the grass on my side, and yours, is green enough.