Written by: Abby Dizon
Editor’s Note: The following articles are written by counseling professionals from Counseling Services in partnership with the Southern Accent.
Experiencing college can lead to two outcomes: You can either understand yourself better and discover who you are as a person, or you can become overwhelmed with the pressures and demands around you, losing sight of your true self and aspirations. This can lead to questioning your identity and how your old self has changed.
If you successfully navigated through this journey of self-discovery, that is fantastic. However, if you are struggling to rediscover yourself, here are some steps to begin the process of finding yourself. Rediscovering yourself is important for making better decisions, nurturing stronger relationships, and ultimately living a more fulfilled life.
Visualize your ideal self
The first step toward rediscovering or developing your ideal self is to put your thoughts on paper about what you want your ideal self to look like. Start with questions like, “What do I want in life?” “What are my regrets and moments of pride?” and “Where do I see myself in five to ten years?”.
These questions may sound daunting if you haven’t given them much thought before. However, they are important for clarifying your goals and aspirations. As action follows thought, you cannot act on something you haven’t contemplated. Without clearly defining your goals for the person you want to become, not only do you not have a clear visual of your personal goals, but you also risk creating goals that are actually based on people’s expectations of you rather than your own desires.
An article from Healthine states, “Without a clear idea of the things that matter to you or the person you hope to become, you’ll continue living for other people instead of yourself.”
Take a break from social circles
Whether in a social circle or a romantic relationship, it is common to get roped in and absorb the personality traits, values, and beliefs of the people around you. This process can sometimes lead to you slowly losing sight of who you were as a person, adopting traits and behaviors that may not align with what you truly are.
This is not a suggestion to have severe ties with loved ones to discover your true self without them, but instead, carve out times of solitude to reconnect with your true core identity. Whether through a nature hike, enrolling in a class, or tending to run errands alone, embracing the unease of solitude allows you to think for yourself and explore your feelings and preferences without external influences, leading to a deeper, independent understanding of who you are.
Remember, you only have one life, so make it your own and don’t live for or through anyone else. As people and things come and go, there will be periods in life where you wonder what you live for.
During those times of uncertainty and solitude, take the time to reflect on who you are and what your passions, goals, and values are. As self-rediscovery is an ongoing process in life, you become better at choosing your decisions and relationships wisely, generate greater clarity, and ultimately live a more fulfilling, meaningful life that aligns with who you truly are.