By: Abby Dizon
Have you ever encountered someone with an inflated ego? Someone who is self-absorbed, disrupts conversations, disregards opinions and always seeks the spotlight? Whether this person is you or someone you know, having a big ego can harm decision-making and social dynamics, especially in collaborative settings. However, a healthy, strong ego is not necessarily bad, as it can help our self-esteem and self-confidence, pushing us to pursue our goals and achieve personal growth. Here are some tips for keeping your ego in check and maintaining a healthy, balanced ego.
Learn from others and let go
Inflated egos can cause individuals to overlook their flaws. Having a high ego often masks a sense of fragility and insecurity, giving the appearance of being “all-knowing” as a defense mechanism. People with high egos may even lean on the “backfire effect,” where their reaction to evidence that contradicts their beliefs is to strengthen those beliefs rather than reconsider them, especially if those beliefs are incorrect.
Additionally, those with an inflated ego may feel a poisonous need to micromanage everything. This behavior can be especially detrimental in group projects, where working together is essential. In contrast, someone with a healthy ego acknowledges their own shortcomings and mistakes, limits their own power and reach and is willing to pass down the baton to those who are capable.
“Sometimes a good leader means knowing when to step down and let others lead,” said Janet Levinger, a social impact leader.
Practice gratitude
Along with passing the baton to others, it is also important to recognize where praise is deserved. By expressing gratitude to those who have helped you along the way and recognizing the small efforts others have made for your success, you strengthen relationships and cultivate a mindset that appreciates the support you received.
Being honest with yourself and others
The ego is a false front, projecting what we want others to think we are. According to R. Herrema in Honesty and Ego, maintaining a false ego is exhausting, with its only power source being validation. Our false ego thrives when the external data matches our external input. For example, if we present ourselves as caring and strong (our external input), and someone contradicts us by saying the opposite (the external data), our ego is unsettled.
“They are never satisfied and drain us because to power them takes more energy than the energy they give back,” Herrema said.
The only way to settle is to embrace your true self and be honest with others as much as possible. It may be painful at first, but it sets you on the course of true empowerment.
Losing your inflated ego is the best thing you can do for yourself. It allows you to take responsibility and learn from your mistakes, which opens the door to personal growth and strengthening relationships. With humility, one can appreciate the strengths of others and live a more fulfilling life.
