Written by: Mk Palaris
Disclaimer: The events, individuals and quotes included in this article are entirely fictitious and have been created for the purpose of humor.
Southern Adventist University recently introduced an unprecedented exchange program within the country, in which multiple students from the Golden State of California spent one semester completing their units in the rural state of Tennessee.
Initially, the program was understood as an attempt at cultural immersion between the two contrasting states; an interview with the program’s executive board members, however, revealed its true mischievous intentions.
“Honestly, we thought it would be really funny to deprive Californians of the sun and their weird food,” the executive board said.
Amidst the program, several participants sought (read: begged) to share their experiences. A majority of students experienced some degree of culture shock, whether it was mountains of gravy drizzled on comfort food or constant complaints of the nearest ocean being 500 miles away in this landlocked state. Nonetheless, they all shared a sentiment of appreciation for the welcoming nature of Southerners.
Francisco, a self-proclaimed hippie and urban studies major, shared his first impression of Tennessee. He had anticipated it to be unsuspecting and perhaps a bit boring; little did he know that his expectations were about to take a wild turn.
“Dude, literally my first day, I saw the wildest thing: So I was heading to my culinary class to share an avocado toast recipe with my classmates,” Francisco said. “Then, I kid you not, the first thing I see when I stepped out of Talge? A pair of standing pants! I thought I was going insane.”
Despite his initial skepticism from this whimsical prank, Francisco eventually found himself drawn to the hospitality of locals, who welcomed him with enthusiastic “Howdy!”s.
“Don’t tell my friends this, but I much prefer the warmth of Southern folk,” Francisco admitted. “I might even start adopting ‘y’all’ into my daily vocab, at this rate.”
For Beverly, a fashion design major, the stark contrast between California’s perpetually sunny skies and Tennessee’s unpredictable weather was a rude awakening.
“I thought rain was just a myth; I haven’t seen it in person since I was, like, nine,” she mused. “But it wasn’t just like culture shock; Tennessee sent me into hypothermic shock! It was like, I’d say around, 80 degrees? It was so cold, like, I had to wear two layers so I wouldn’t freeze to death. Like, I don’t even want to think about it reaching sub-40 degrees.”
On the positive side, the change of pace was welcomed by Angelo, a film major. Navigating the scenic country roads of Tennessee proved to be a breath of fresh air.
“Back home, my 20-mile drive to uni could take 50 minutes with all the traffic backed up on the I-15,” he said. “But here, the same distance would take probably only 20.”
While the program was constructed on a whim and as a complete and utter joke, this whole experiment proved one thing: The stereotypes are true; Californians really do love their avocado toast.
Editor’s Note: This article is a part of a “Satire Swap” between Seventh-day Adventist university student publications. La Sierra University’s publication, Criterion, wrote this piece for the Southern Accent.
Read more articles created by other universities for the Satire Swap below: