Written by: Abby Dizon
Editor’s Note: The following articles are written by counseling professionals from Counseling Services in partnership with the Southern Accent.
What feeling arises when you are registering for classes for the next semester only to find out that the class you wanted is already filled? Or when you are trying to find a parking spot and there are none available where it is convenient for you?
Usually, it is the feeling of frustration. We often feel frustrated when there are major setbacks or when we are attempting to solve a problem and have difficulty finding a solution. Some key signs of frustration include impatience, restlessness, feeling irritated, lashing out at others and getting angry at everyday stressors.
Although frustration may seem like a temporary emotion, it can develop into a case of long-term conditions resulting in uncontrolled aggression, increased anxiety and depression. As life is filled with encounters with daily stressors, it is important to learn to overcome feelings of frustration over minor inconveniences by building our tolerance when things are inconvenient or uncomfortable.
The best way to increase your tolerance is by learning to accept tough situations beyond your control. Frustration often occurs due to our mindset and how we resist or fight against what is happening.
According to a WebMD article, to determine the cause of your frustration and to build your tolerance, you must realize that you have limited control over what happened and recognize what you can and cannot change. This mindset of understanding your limitations helps you develop patience and resilience, which can reduce feelings of helplessness over uncontrollable aspects.
Another strategy that can better improve your tolerance is distracting yourself. The more you focus and fixate on the problem, the worse your feelings will develop. An article written by Elizabeth Scott, a psychologist and wellness coach, stated that by choosing to distract yourself from the frustration and dilemma, you can do enjoyable activities around you, such as listening to music, watching a movie or being active. Shifting your focus from the source of frustration will give you the space to process your emotions and create the space to reassess the situation with a clearer perspective.
Have you ever shaken a bottle of soda? If so, you should be aware that it will eventually explode. Avoiding our feelings of frustration is similar to a shaken-up bottle of soda, suppressed for now but will explode later on.
Bottling up your anger will not only make it worse, but it may also resurface later at unexpected moments. Similarly to how exploding soda will spray onto you and those around you, your suppressed emotions will affect you and your relationships.
While screaming into a pillow or singing at the top of your lungs in a car may seem strange, things like this can redirect anger. Additionally, taking accountability and using “I” statements is more effective than focusing the blame on others, according to an article from Science of People. Learn to manage or release your anger in a healthier and non-damaging manner rather than avoiding it altogether.
Ultimately, frustration tolerance is a component of emotional regulation skills and can make or break healthy relationships and enjoy life. When it is low, you are bothered, angry or thrown off by routine stressors. When frustration tolerance is high, you can quickly reframe setbacks and inconveniences, according to a BetterUp article. Although it is impossible to control everything that happens to you, you always control how you react. Learning to regulate your emotions and thoughts healthily puts you in a calmer state and allows you to explore various perspectives to face life’s challenges.