Written by: Emily White
To say American Girl was a big part of my childhood would be an understatement. I was 6 years old when I received my first catalog from them. I spent hours poring over the pages and routinely showed my parents the items I wanted from that catalog (and the many others that were eventually stuffed in my mailbox). Every night, I prayed that one day I would be able to have my very own American Girl doll. In the meantime, I satiated my longing by reading as many American Girl books as I could find, playing games on their website and collecting a plethora of officially licensed American Girl pets.
After two long years, I was granted a trip to the American Girl store in Washington, D.C. where I was allowed to purchase my very own doll. I knew exactly which one I wanted: number 57 from the modern doll line with short brown hair and brown eyes, a miniature version of 8-year-old me. I proudly handed the cashier my hard-earned $75 (my mother chipped in the remaining $20) and received my new best friend. I named her Emma.
Emma went everywhere with me: school, church, the occasional shopping trip, family gatherings and vacations. I was happy with my new companion, but I felt that she needed a friend her size as well. Two years after I purchased her, I returned to the same American Girl store and bought another doll from the modern line, number 12 with blonde hair, bangs and brown eyes. I named her Emi—original, I know—but later rectified this by deciding that Emi would be her nickname and Ashley Emerson her legal name. Two years after that, I bought a doll from the Girl of the Year line, and six months later, I purchased the next Girl of the Year. My assortment of American Girl paraphernalia was growing rapidly, more than my 6-year-old self could have imagined.
The peak of my American Girl-ness came about in 2016 when I was 13. By then, I had five dolls in my collection, sufficient furniture to provide them with an abode, and enough outfits to fit most occasions (historical, formal, church, school and sleep). All of the money I made went towards expanding my collection. I was utterly immersed in the American Girl side of YouTube (colloquially referred to as AGTube), and spent hours watching stop motions from channels like “mixiepixie7” and “basilmentos.” I also watched a miniature TV series called Aspen Heights by the AGTuber “agsmiless.” Its music heavily influenced my taste, and I still listen to those songs. Inspired by those AGTubers, I made my own YouTube channel where I uploaded videos regularly. I also dabbled in photography and photo editing, using my dolls as my models.
Nine years later, I have eight dolls, but five have been boxed up since I moved three years ago. I haven’t made a video with them since 2019, and the last photo I took was this Christmas of my three unpacked dolls in holiday outfits. I bought secondhand furniture and accessories a year and a half ago but have yet to use them. I still get American Girl catalogs, but I rarely read them, as I am unsatisfied by the company’s shift from its historical roots. I wouldn’t say I’m not interested in American Girl anymore, but other things have taken precedence in my life.
Is it time for me to let go of my childhood? Is it time for me to sell or give away all of the dolls that brought me so much joy years ago? As many of us transition into new seasons of life, we have to face the dilemma of what to do with our beloved stuffed animals and toys when they are no longer serving their original purpose.
As for me, I will keep my dolls. Though I don’t actually play with them now, I still make tiny books and food items for them, fulfilling my love of miniatures. I also plan to have them included in seasonal displays in my future home. Until then, I will be content with them living in boxes while I finish schooling. You don’t have to make the same decision I did. But even if you decide not to keep your childhood toys, be sure to keep your childhood memories!
