By: Johanne Mendoza
Editor’s Note: The following articles are written by counseling professionals from Counseling Services in partnership with the Southern Accent.
After reading a Psyche article by Kiki Fehling, an experienced psychologist, I realized I related to the idea of living life by just going through the motions. After spring break, my heart and mind needed to be right regarding school.
Sometimes, I was not motivated to get through my days, and even though I had everything I needed to feel better, I didn’t do anything about it. I also felt disconnected from people due to the fast-paced environment that I was surrounded by. I felt that my mental health was suffering due to my not being mindful or being present at the moment.
Reading this article encouraged me to apply tactics from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) therapy. Although DBT is more focused on those who suffer from borderline personality disorder, the ultimate aim is crafting a “life worth living” mindset, a vision determined by the individual, free from external influences such as therapists, family or friends.
Two recent studies, one from the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, and the other from a journal titled Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, suggest that using DBT therapy and working on daily measures to help with emotional regulation was a critical factor that helped their focus groups’ psychological health.
This involves creating goals aligned with personal fulfillment, focusing on actionable steps to achieve them and devising strategies for therapy’s role in the journey. The significance of this behavioral emphasis cannot be overlooked due to how it serves as a beacon of motivation during moments of despair or fatigue. A clear vision of one’s desired life essentially becomes a driving force, especially with the added factor of being able to see one’s progress.
However, navigating behavioral change creates challenges, often due to ineffective goal-setting methods and a tendency to underestimate the effort required. This causes individuals to struggle with vague aspirations or unrealistic expectations, which leads to an abrupt end to their progress and ends with self-blame.
The Psyche article suggests that this is similar to someone getting lost because they chose not to use a map. Without guidance or achievable goals, a life satisfaction goal can result in aimless wandering and frustration. Life-worth-living goals can serve as a map, helping to make aspirations into manageable steps and offering a sense of direction.
While DBT is not meant for everyone, its goal of enhancing life satisfaction and addressing various mental health issues has been proven through clinical research. This article is intended to share strategies derived from DBT steps to assist individuals in creating their own life worth living, offering a resource for those seeking fulfillment when feeling stuck or directionless.
The whole purpose of DBT therapy is to allow individuals to feel encouraged to have the authority to define what a fulfilling life means to them and have the right tools to identify their version of a life worth living through proper goal-setting. These goals serve as pillars or beacons of hope, guiding individuals toward greater satisfaction and personal empowerment by creating a space for individuals to break down their goals into manageable steps.
Reflecting on personal preferences, passions and values aids in clarifying those goals. Envisioning the big picture of one’s ideal life and outlining the corresponding objectives provides a roadmap for action. Prioritizing one to four goals based on urgency, excitement or accessibility ensures focused attention, with each goal being specific, realistic and meaningful.
Taking actionable steps toward these goals, no matter how insignificant, allows progress to grow and reinforces commitment to self-fulfillment. Through research and reflection, I have learned to prepare for challenges and plan, which is a DBT skill aiding in anticipating and overcoming obstacles to accomplish your goals.
Visualizing potential hurdles and developing specific coping strategies tailored to each situation makes one more efficient. One should reflect on setbacks as opportunities for growth and seek support from a therapist or trusted counselor if needed.
I realized the importance of embracing the present moment. Recognizing happiness in gratitude and mindfulness is key. I hope this encourages you to integrate present-moment awareness into your daily activities for emotional resilience so that you can stop living through the motion.