By: Katie-Jane Emde
The wallpaper was covered with fish. The room smelled like crayons, books and stuffed animals that had been taken out to recess. But I was so sad. My loving mom and sisters were at home, while I was surrounded by strangers.
I was in first grade and would spend my weekends crying in dread of going back to school on Monday. I developed a coping habit for when the sadness became too much to handle: I would go into the bathroom, close the door and look at the fish wallpaper. There, I would start to sing, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong…” My little heart knew just what would make it feel better: remembering that Jesus loves me.
Fast-forward 13 years, and I had long since gotten over my fear of new people, new places and new adventures. Now I was the “mom” of 15 little girls in Bolivia! My entire identity was wrapped up in making sure that they knew that they were worthy of being loved, despite histories of abandonment and abuse. But a few months before my time was over, I was reflecting with my fellow student missionary on our day off. We realized that we had gotten so wrapped up in singing “Jesus loves you” that we had forgotten to sing “Jesus loves me.”
We all crave being loved. We put our value in it and build our identities around it. Some of us seek love in relationships, and others build an identity in service, hoping to be loved and valued by those we serve. Perhaps for many of us, a faint tune is always playing underneath it all. Maybe that tune has become too soft to hear on a regular basis, drowned out by other louder songs. But that tune is still in the back of our minds, comforting us since childhood: “Jesus loves me.”
Seeing the hurt in my heart after my return from Bolivia, witnessing the longing to find myself and God again, my friend implored me, “Katie-Jane, you have to let God love you. When you let God love you, your ministry will look different, your identity will look different and your heart will feel different.”
The phrase “Let God love you” changed my life. It resonated with the faint, buried tune in my heart, but this I didn’t know. I certainly didn’t feel it.
So, I took my friend seriously. I went and bought a new Bible, and I opened it with a prayer: “God, reveal Yourself to me in a new, fresh way. Help me find You for who You are right here, right now. I am going to read this Bible with only one assumption: that I am loved.” That is how I began to fall in love with Jesus for the second time.
What I found as I read Scripture with fresh eyes was the most beautiful picture of God I had ever seen. In every verse and every story, His love radiated out! The more I read, the deeper in love I fell. Here was a God who called me precious (Isaiah 43:4), who delights in me (Psalm 18:19), and says over and over, “I love you.” Finally, I could sing again, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so!”
One of the perfect passages to illustrate this is John 15:1-17. I encourage you to read it slowly. Jesus calls Himself the Vine and us the branches, reminding us that if we abide in Him and stay connected, we will produce fruit in abundance.
“Our assignment is not fruitfulness but faithfulness,” Max Lucado writes in his book “Anxious for Nothing.” Verses 9-17 are my very favorite part of this passage because we see a profound sequence. The first command is given: “Remain in my love.” God is literally saying, “Be loved by Me!” To remain in His love is to obey His commandments, showing us that a love theology does not remove the commandments but just gets the order right.
The second event, after remaining in God’s love, is that “your joy will overflow!” What I did not mention in my story is that after rediscovering God and His character of love for me as an individual, I was filled with the most intense joy. I learned that joy is not just a nicely packaged gift from Jesus; it’s an atmosphere we are invited to peek into and choose to stay in! When we realize that it is not our intrinsic value that makes God love us and that it is the love of God that gives us our value in the first place, we can’t help but experience this joy!
And third, Jesus speaks the final command: “love each other.” We cannot love well if we are not loved first. We do love well when it is from a joyful overflow!
I pray the words of Ephesians 3:17-19 over this campus and each of God’s children: “Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God” (NLT).
Let God love you. Remain in His love. The simple gospel is this: “Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.”
