By: Abby Dizon
When someone you love and trust hurts you, it is easy to hold a grudge; however, 100% of the time, the grudges we hold hurt us more than they will ever hurt the other person.
Letting go of grudges is freeing and empowering, but it does require patience and a lot of self-reflection. The first step in letting go is to acknowledge and understand that holding onto resentment only weighs you down and impacts your mental and emotional well-being.
The second step is to have empathy for the person that wronged you. While that is easier said than done, seeing things from a different point of view can help humanize the other person and help you move towards forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness does not mean that you accept and allow their hurtful actions, but rather that you release the negative emotions attached to them.
The third change to make is with your mindset. Train your mind to lean more toward compassion and forgiveness. Choose your peace of mind and emotional health over clinging to resentment.
According to a popular 2022 Mayo Clinic article on forgiveness, letting go of grudges can lead to healthier relationships, improved mental health, less anxiety and stress, a stronger immune system, improved self-esteem and fewer symptoms of depression.
Lastly, communicate your feelings constructively to the person who hurt you, if possible. Be honest and compassionate and aim for understanding as opposed to confrontation.
However, if reconciliation is not possible, set boundaries to protect yourself from more harm in the future. Remember that you do not always need to speak to the other party to receive closure; sometimes, you can find resolution within yourself or by talking to a counselor at the Counseling Center in Bietz.
Letting go is an uphill battle, but the view from the top is worth it. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate through the journey of forgiveness. By learning to release the grudges you hold close to your heart, you create space for healing and growth.
Embrace the liberty that comes with letting go, and know that by choosing to forgive, you are reflecting the character of Jesus and empowering yourself to live a life with more love and compassion.
