By: Rhett Seitz
I have a confession to make: I am really bad at making decisions. In fact, when I served for a year as a student missionary one of my students jokingly called me “inDeanSeitzive”. However, I wasn’t always this way.
Back in high school, life seemed simple, the path ahead felt clear, like a straight road stretching into the future. I had an idea of who I was and what I wanted to do, and for the most part, I followed that plan for me to eventually graduate Southern and eventually go into the military.
Then I came to Southern, and everything started to slowly change. College forces you to grow up fast, to make decisions that can affect the trajectory of your life. New experiences, new people, and new perspectives challenge your beliefs. The more you learn about life, the more you realize that nothing is certain. It’s part of the process of becoming an adult.
One of the biggest decisions I’ve faced so far has been choosing a major and, by extension, a career path. It easily has been one of the hardest decisions of my life. I know I’m not the only one who has had to face this decision.
According to a 2022 study published in BMC Psychology, “negative perfectionism plays a positive predictive role in career decision-making difficulties.” In other words, students who put constant pressure on themselves to be perfect often struggle more with choosing a career path, underscoring the influence of mental health and personality traits on the decisions students make. In some ways, trying to be perfect can make students more indecisive.
And it’s not just career choices that young people struggle with. A 2024 study of nearly 400 adolescents found that many do not simply experience temporary indecisiveness, but a sustained struggle. One of the four identified trajectories was “chronic intermittent indecision,” especially among students whose motivation was driven more by pressure and external expectations than by personal interest. This shows that indecisiveness isn’t always about not knowing what you want. Often, people do know — the real challenge comes from the bigger pressures, consequences, and feedback that these students may receive from others or society because of their decisions.
So how does one properly make a decision then in a world full of decisions to make? Over time, I have discovered some strategies that have helped me navigate the uncertainty of certain decisions, and they might help others too:
1. Flip a coin (and listen to your gut). When I’m stuck between two options, flipping a coin has been surprisingly effective. Here’s the trick: while the coin is in the air, notice which side you secretly hope it lands on. That little feeling often tells you what you really want, even if you’re not consciously aware of it.
2. Give yourself permission to change your mind. Many of us feel that once we commit to a decision, we must stick with it forever. But life isn’t linear. It’s okay to pivot and realize that the path you chose isn’t the right fit for you. Reflect on your choices and adjust when necessary—it’s part of the growing process.
3. Seek advice wisely. Friends, family, and mentors can provide valuable perspective, especially those who know you well. Remember, no one else can live your life for you. Take advice as guidance, not a mandate. Ultimately, the decision is yours.
4. Don’t let regret control you. Every decision carries the possibility of regret. You might hear that nagging voice saying, “You should have done this” or “You shouldn’t have done that.” Ignore it. Regret can distort reality, making you feel guilty for choices that were reasonable at the time. Learn from mistakes, but don’t let them paralyze you.
5. Trust God: In the end, trust that God has the best path for you no matter what decision you make. One of my professors said that that even if I don’t accomplish everything in this lifetime, I have all of eternity to make the decisions that I wanted to in this life.
Learning to make decisions, even small ones, has been a journey of self-discovery. College is full of opportunities to practice, experiment and sometimes fail—and that’s okay. Indecisiveness doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable; it means you’re thoughtful, considering multiple angles and learning to navigate complexity.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: making a decision is rarely about choosing the perfect path—it’s about taking action, learning from it, and trusting that you can adjust as you grow. In the end, that is how we move forward.
